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The Robber Bridegroom

from Grimm Raps by Dekay

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Inspired by The Robber Bridegroom as retold by the Brothers Grimm.

lyrics

My father told me I had better leave and get married
He said he's found a groom and he accepted me
But yet every time that we've met I feel the dread was real
A sense of terror washing over me what could it mean
I dont know
He told me come and visit he
Lives in the woods by the
Little brook or stream
I said I've never been
I went to look and see

Set off through the bushy trees
It was long tripped a few times but the grass cushioned me
Finally I seen the yard couldn't breathe
It resembled a place if you entered you wouldn't be
Good and free
Curiously the wood had been
Scarred with strange symbols stupidly
I still went in the property who is she
An old woman was in the room putting peas in a soup with ease
I said where would my suitor be
Under scrutiny she said ruefully
My proposed betrothed was soon to be
Returning with his gang of fiends and crucially
They loved murdering girls like me brutally
This was news to me
Like a movie scene
She explained all of this lucidly
As she span the ladle in the soup tureen
My husband was planning on cooking me
Now you must understand that ain't suiting me
But before I could leg it would you believe
I heard the creak of the door as he used the key
Shit

How you gonna marry me
If you gonna eat me up
Yum yum
Nothing left of me
What you gonna see
And what you gonna do when I tell the truth
Run run

Well I hid behind the stove was inclined to hope
That the woman wouldn't bait me up
I tried to cope
With the fear of becoming just skull and bones
I'd resemble the flag of a pirate boat
If these cannibals realised that I was inside their home
None of them spied me though
Or they would rip me apart like I'm styrofoam
Dragging this girl through the yard they had tied a rope
So as she struggled it tightened she kinda choked
Then my man took out hammers and knifes you know
I couldn't assist and they wouldn't desist
And I looked as they slit her she died but slow
They chopped her in pieces I'm frightened cold
It was as if my heart was inside my throat
I felt like I'd been struck by a lightning bolt
One of her fingers just landed beside me oh!
The villains tried to look for it But the old woman said no I'm cooking this
That finger ain't running off you stupid gits
Have a drink of wine let it stew a bit
They drank so much that they grew tired and collapsed
Then when they passed out it was time to relax
I begged the old woman please find me a cab
And she called me an Uber goodnight don't come back
I went straight home to confide in my dad
And as proof the girls finger was right in my bag
My dad made me freeze it then write down the facts
And then we set up the unlikeliest trap
The wedding day arrived
We all gathered round
And I made a speech before we took our vows
I told them off a dream that I'd had at night
Wherein I described the murderers precise
Actions on that day
Fear was in his eyes
He leapt up in surprise and said that isn't right!!
My love it was only a dream though
Then you chopped off her finger she screamed oh
At this point he starts shouting at me no
It is not so
It was not so and indeed God forbid it should be so
But it was so I said we know
You're a murdering thief not a hero
And with that
I pulled the finger out of my bag held it high and I showed all the people
Now his cannibal cult is revealed to be evil
Well that was all in the plan
They caught him when he ran and he surely did hang
As for me well I never again courted a man
I would rather be single sure you'll understand

How you gonna marry me
If you gonna eat me up
Yum yum
Nothing left of me
What you gonna see
And what you gonna do
When I tell the truth
Run run

credits

from Grimm Raps, released October 11, 2022
Written by Dekay

Produced by Matt Catlow and Dekay

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Dekay UK

Dekay is an underground rapper from London, England, who has been writing, battling and freestyling for the last twenty years.

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